Life was busy with two little kids, teaching, ministry, and marriage. Who had time to deal with septic problems? Not only were the issues prohibitively expensive, they were quite disruptive to our daily lives. So, my husband and I did like we always did – trudged on. Keith, being amazingly smart and thankfully not bothered by septic smells, fixed the issues. Life got back to normal, but it wasn’t long before the issues were back.
If you have never experienced a backed up septic problem, get on your knees right now and shout out a big, “HALLELUJAH!!! Thank you JESUS!!!” At first, we could laugh. We are blessed with potty humor, but as the issue got bigger, we stopped laughing. It wasn’t funny. Struggling financially, the cost to fix the issue might as well have been a million dollars.
It seemed impossible. The hardest part through this whole process was feeling so invisible to God. Prayers, petitions…all resulted in only the worsening of the problem. I wasn’t asking for boots, jewelry, or some other luxury item…
Lord, Your word says that You will supply all my needs. Is this not a need? Am I unworthy? Is some sin keeping Your answer away from me? Do you even notice my family here?
Have you ever felt like this? Totally unseen, overlooked by God…That your problems aren’t important to Him, because… (Fill in the blank).
May I tell you something? I was wrong.
Can I tell you something else? If you have those same thoughts, you are wrong too. Let that comfort you…because our God is the God Who Sees – El Roi. No one is out of His sight!
As for me, I am poor and needy, but the Lord takes thought for me. You are my help and my deliverer; do not delay, O my God! Psalm 40: 17
She gave this name to the Lord who spoke to her: “You are the God who sees me, “for she said, “I have now seen the One who sees me.” Genesis 16:13
On a Saturday morning, naked in the shower, the water rising around my feet, I gave up. I told my sweet Savior, that I was all done. I wish I could take this part out of my story, but I feel I must be honest. I saw all the answered prayers for others, but not mine. People going on vacation, buying all organic food, going out on dates with their husbands and here I was ankle deep in poop water…naked.
Yup…there I was…but so was God. He didn’t leave me in my 30 – something temper tantrum. In fact, He saw me, loved me, and answered my prayer!
The next day at church, our pastor, unbeknownst to us, announced that there was a family in need of a big septic overhaul and asked the congregation to help with the cost. In about 15 minutes, we had enough money to fix the problem! God. Sees. Me!!!
As amazing as it was to see the money raised, it was being seen that filled my heart with joy! Knowing God saw me in my darkest time was life changing – so much so that I pray often that people will know God sees them right where they are, because I know what power there is in being seen.
As the septic work was being done, I asked the surveyor just how bad it was. He told me that it shouldn’t have worked at all, never mind for as many years as it had. God was always there…always working.
Knowing that Jesus is El Roi, changed my life. I pray you know how much you are loved and seen. Please comment below and I would be so honored to pray for you.